I woke up feeling so crappy this morning, and it wasn’t a cold or illness that was afflicting me, but discouragement.
Sometimes being discouraged can be the worst thing for a person to deal with. This morning I was feeling so low.
Life has felt like a struggle recently. Holidays are fun, but they’re hard on adults who can’t sit back and enjoy them the same way as we did when we were kids. They’re stressful and a large percentage is focused around money. Despite those struggles, we made it through, the kids had a great holiday and now, after the new year holiday has come to an end as well, I have been left with a strange emptiness.
There is SO MUCH I want to do in my life. I work hard at my job, try to be a good mom, strive to constantly project positivity on my world and other people, and sometimes it feels like I’m falling short somewhere. Sometimes I feel like the events that happen in my everyday life don’t make sense with all the effort and love I put out in the world. For instance, this morning I had to take Derek’s car to work instead of mine and forgot to leave him the other key, so I had to turn around in the snow and take it back to him, causing me to be late for work. I may be nit-picking, but when little things like that build up, it takes a toll on me, my demeanor and my emotions. It feels like negativity rains on me when all I’m doing is trying so hard to be a good, kind, compassionate, empathetic, hard working person. It makes me feel like I’m not trying hard enough.
I voiced all this concern and heaviness on my mind and heart to Derek and he, of course, made me feel better. He reminded me of the good things that my funk was shrouding. I have A LOT of wonderful things in my life and I need to remember to be patient and stay positive. Our time will come.
For 2017 I have huge goals I want to work toward. They are “working” resolutions; long term goals I want to get a start on. Here’s my list that I’m excited and encouraged to achieve, however long it may take.
-Start saving for our forever home
-Move up at work and achieve a promotion
-Get involved with philanthropy on small and large scales (I want to be in a position where if I ever see a person struggling at the grocery store to pay, that I can pick up the tab, no problem).
-Be empathetic in every regard, even when it’s not easy
I’m going to get out of this funk and move forward. That’s all I can do.