Posted in blended family, life

Adjusting

 

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Over the past several years, we have had a pretty steady schedule as far as splitting the week between homes with Charlotte. The schedule that we had for a very long time was set up Wednesday-Saturday. The one we had in place over the past year was Thursday-Sunday, and our newest one, due to Charlotte starting Kindergarten, is Friday-Monday.

I guess being someone who is normally okay with some change in life, transitioning from the first to the second schedule was no biggie. She was still little; the shift didn’t feel that different to me. ( I have to say though, it always threw me for a loop when we’d have to change it up for one reason or another and get her on a slightly different schedule. Whenever that has happened in the past, I’d totally forget what day it was. I suppose I’m a creature of habit deep down.)

We’ve only done our Friday-Monday schedule once so far. She just started Kindergarten last week. I’m 100% positive that I will adjust and life will feel back in balance after we get in our groove. As of right now though, I feel slightly chaotic (mostly just in my head, not outwardly). I haven’t fully adjusted to having two kids for the entire weekend yet. I don’t really like admitting that because it makes me feel like I’m complaining about spending time with my kids together, as a family. I’m really not complaining about it. I am just used to something different, so I’m going through a transition phase.

Back when we did our Wednesday-Saturday schedule a few years ago, I hadn’t had Willa yet, so having part of Saturday and all of Sunday free to spend with Derek (or by myself if he worked) was so nice. Life seemed so much simpler then, when I think back on it now….because it was. Shortly after Willa came along, the schedule shifted to the Thursday-Sunday routine. This, like I said before, didn’t take all that long to get used to. We had it down pat. Derek would teach Thursday nights, so I’d have both kids, make dinner, wind down, he’d come home, we’d put the kids to bed. Friday I would go to work and Derek would be with the kids, I’d come home, we’d go out and do something together or hang out at home (he doesn’t work Fridays). Saturday I’d have both kids in the morning until the afternoon while Derek taught lessons. I’d set up a play date with a friend, take them to park, or just hang out at home until he was finished, then again, we’d do something as a family. Sundays we would relax in the morning, then figure out when we were going to meet Charlotte’s mom to drop her off, then I’d have the rest of the day to kind of chill out. Up until now, Willa wasn’t so mobile and didn’t have that toddler energy she has these days, so it was easy for me to go to a store or go home and watch a show that wasn’t kid oriented.

Now things have turned up a notch (in a good way!). Charlotte is a big school age kid now and Willa is a full blown toddler. This new Friday-Monday schedule has kind of put me into an internal frenzy. It isn’t because I don’t love having my family together the entire weekend, and it isn’t because I can’t handle change. I actually love those parts about it. Having both kids all weekend has made our life feel more “normal”, less “blended”, in a way. It’s just the simple fact that as a working mom putting in a full 40 (or more) hours during the week, coming home, making dinner or doing grocery shopping all with a toddler in tow, then the entirety of the weekend running around and doing pretty much everything kid related, I kind of lose myself in the mix. It can sometimes feel like there isn’t a spare second for just me or for just Derek and me. That’s the part that can really get to me. I know that for me, to be the best mommy I can be, I have to have those moments to myself or with my husband, alone. I know we will work it out and there will be loopholes that will give us that time we need as a couple or alone time to do things individually. Like I said before, we just need to find our groove, make plans, and roll with the tide.

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…but really though…

Here’s to going with the flow!

πŸ˜‰

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Author:

Just an ordinary southwestern Ohio lady trying to blog!

3 thoughts on “Adjusting

  1. This post hit so many points for me. I found myself saying with each line: “yep, I feel (or remembe feeling) that way, too. When Chase”s mom moved to Canada, all of a sudden I had two kids full time. A then 10 year old and 4 month old. Talk about a shock to the routine. I also consider myself adaptable to change and love both of my kids dearly. But this was a big shift for our family that was going through a lot of adapting with the addition of mason. Tony works full time and has an unpredictable schedule so I’m usually the one running everyone around plus don’t most the chores/errands, oh and I have a full time job too. I can tell you I spent a lot of time resenting everyone (self included). I was not in a good place. But you’re so right about finding your loopholes to connect with yourself and with your husband, alone. You will find it as long as you make it just as important as anything else. Good luck to you and if you want a babysitter, just let me know!

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    1. Amanda, thank you! I’m so glad you can relate. It’s so nice to have other stepmom to talk with and vent to if need be. It’s so nice to belong to a group and have people that understand what your life is like. We should really get together again and hang out! I’d love to talk more in person 😊😊😊

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