Part of my ordinary life is the fact that I am a stepmom. I have really enjoyed it so far. I’ve been a part of my stepdaughter’s life for almost 2 years now. She will be 4 in November and sometimes I can’t believe how fast the time flies. I have heard people saying that my entire life about children. “They grow up so fast.” It’s so true! When my husband and I first started dating she was barely 2 years old and now she’s an almost 4 year old who just started preschool!
Along with the joys of being a part of a child’s life, helping raise them, watching them grow, etc. comes the pains as well. I’m referring to how I felt, for the most part, in the beginning. I truly think being a stepparent can be one of the most difficult roles anyone can play. In the past, and even now sometimes, I don’t always know where I stand. I’m not her biological parent, so she calls me Dusty. I hope that in the future she will really start to see me as a “mom” in her life. Her little sister is due in January, and she will obviously call me “mom”, or whatever variation comes about. Discipline, closeness, boundaries, etc. have come quite easily in our interaction with each other since I’ve been in her life starting at such a young age. I don’t think she remembers a time where “Daddy and Dusty” weren’t the way things are. The same goes for when she is with her mom where she knows the two of them together. I think the reservations I have are completely in my own head. I just want to teach her and her sister that not only am I a mother, but I’m here for both of them completely.
Another part of this role that I personally find difficult is constantly trying to prove myself to her biological mom. It may sound silly when I say “prove” myself. If I was as confident about who I am and the way I do things, I shouldn’t feel that way, right? Not true. Things have been rough in the past. I’ve updated this blog entry because the way I felt when I first wrote it is not necessarily the way I feel now. We have come a LONG way and I’m so glad things are the way they are now, although it can be bumpy from time to time. That’s okay though, but not always easy (especially for a miss fix-it, people pleaser such as myself). Some things take more time to adjust than others, and our baby steps that everyone involved has taken, mean a lot.
I know that I must keep doing the best that I am able to do with my stepdaughter and daughter. I am definitely confident that if I continue along that path, things should fall into place just the way they should.
I promise it’s not my intention to use this blog as a catch-all for my frustrations, however this is, after all, a place for me to discuss my “everyday” life. The good, the bad, and the (for lack of better word) ugly.
Until the next time.